Brain Tumors, Tequila, and Hitmen… Oh My!

Ok, so I fully planned to post while traveling last month…

Yeah. That didn’t happen. 🙃

Yes, the laptop came with me. Yes, I actually read a few books (not as many as usual—blame the new friends and overly ambitious itinerary). And no, I did not take a single coherent note about what I read like a responsible blogger.

But hey, better late than never, right?

To top it off, the second we landed back home, I got knocked out by some mystery plague for a week and a half. Love that for me. Anyway, you’re not here for my tales of illness and irresponsibility—you’re here for the book chaos. So let’s talk about one of the wild ones I read: Hannah and the Hitman by Vanessa Vale.

This book was… uh… bizarre? Like, imagine if a rom-com took a shot of espresso, tripped, and accidentally fell into a Marvel origin story. Yeah. That.

It’s supposed to be a spicy little rom-com—with a twist. Except my Kindle Unlimited-addicted self borrowed it months before reading it, so I completely forgot the blurb even hinted at said twist. Cue me, sitting there, reading like this: 🤨 the entire time.

Because, friends—our FMC, Hannah, has a brain tumor. The radiation to remove/shrink it apparently… gave her superpowers. LIKE ACTUAL SUPERPOWERS. Think Spider-Man, but without the spider and a lot more “wait… what the actual fuck just happened?” energy.

Now toss in a hitman (yes, an actual hitman) who casually reads her smut over her shoulder on a plane, sprinkle in some light mob activity, and boom—you’ve got this fever dream of a story.

If you want a rom-com that makes you question literally everything while giggling at the absurdity—this might be for you. But if you prefer your supernatural romances to make at least a little sense? Babe… this ain’t it.

Normally, if I like a first book, I’m all in for the series. But this one? Yeah, no. I need my supernatural stuff to follow some kind of internal logic. This one was more “drunk fever dream with a side of mob foreplay.”

Full honesty: I almost DNF’d it. The only reason I powered through was 1) I was on vacation and 2) there was really, really good tequila involved.

Ratings:

🥴 = read while drunk

🌶️🌶️🌶️ =  dicks in detail